Another day down. “I love you to the moon and back.” I say this at the end of every day. After I tucked all three kids into their own beds, kissed their cheeks, turned on sound machines, passed out stuffed animals, I promised a day full of fun tomorrow. I closed the door and walked out. As I walk down the dark hallway a sigh of relief that I can now sit for at least a few uninterrupted minutes before preparing for the next day. I begin to rehearse the day over and over. Have you seen the movie Groundhog Day? That’s how I feel sometimes.
Kids Ready. Check.
School drop off. Check.
Clean up. Check.
School work. Check.
School Pick up. Check.
Soccer, Dance or Gymnastics. Check.
Bath time. Check.
Bed time. Check.
Clean up. Check.
And repeat. Again. Again. And Again.
Some nights when I lay in bed after all is said and done, this routine overwhelms me. The tasks or what I perceive as a failed attempt on motherhood rises to the top. How did I make the most of today? Did I slow down to enjoy the special moments? Did I find the hidden gem in each of my kids today? I probably did lose my temper too easily? Did I expect too much? Did I play?
I didn’t get everything finished on my “to do” list. Nope to exercise. I should have played soccer outside with the kids instead of sweeping the floor. I should have been kinder. More patient. A better wife, sister, daughter and friend. Did I even shower? Tomorrow, yes tomorrow I will wake up early and take a shower. I’m so tired but can’t quiet my mind from the woulda, coulda, shouldas. But really it is the moments squeezed in between the monotony that will last. The day also looked like this.
Woke my kids up with a smile and set them up for a successful day.
Instilled confidence and independence in our toddler “school time”.
Cleaned a house, prepared dinner and finished laundry.
Picked the kids up and showed interest in their day.
Encouraged, supported and cheered at soccer.
Kissed a scraped knee.
Taught manners at the dinner table.
Kisses, hugs and snuggles before bed.
Watched a movie with the hubs after the kids were in bed. Man, I love him. And he knows it.
Sometimes it may be hidden but I did do something right today. I did love to the moon and back and I gave it my all. I may be in yoga pants at the pick-up line, my house may be messy and I may not have checked everything off of my “to do” list today but it is not all a wash. I’m not perfect and never will be but I will be me and that will do. The small moments that may seem trivial at the time are my greatest successes. You know the saying, “the days are long but they years are short.” How true that is. Give yourself some grace today and know your best is enough. Just my thought for the day.